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Welcome To Blessings of Dementia
Mom & Evie, Feb 2010, Photo by Michael Conner
January 3, 2006
My Mom was a University professor in her working years, and before that the Music Coordinator for 30+ elementary schools in Eugene, Oregon. A bright and talented woman. A single Mom since I was 12, she raised three beautiful and talented daughters and contributed so much to her community. She has little or no short term memory these days and it is a miracle that she’s able to live in independent living in a retirement home with two meals a day in the dining room, but no other assistance other than her two daughters who live near. Her cultivation of good habits in her 85 years is the reason I think she’s able to live independently. She gets up, makes her bed, takes a shower, washes her hair, dresses appropriately and fixes her own breakfast.
As sad as it is that Mom has no short term memory, I look for and find blessings of dementia that may not be apparent at first. I know there are many people in her situation and many much worse off, suffering the ravages of Alzheimer’s. Thankfully, my Mom does not have Alzheimer’s. My writing about the Blessings of Dementia in no way minimizes or ignores the challenges of those much worse off, or the challenges of their families and caregivers. My writing about the blessings I see is just one way of seeing the glass as half full that allows me to enjoy some “sweet time” with her, instead of time dragged down with sadness.
Added on January 22, 2008:
I have come to see that lacking some capacities, whether physical or mental, in no way diminishes one’s gifts, nor one’s learnings.
There are times these days when Mom asks the exact same question over and over. I’ve counted 37 times in 25 minutes while driving her to the retirement home. One of the things I’ve learned is that the TRUE GIFT is MY ability and willingness to just answer the question without upset however many times it is asked. I’ve been working with myself and I’m good these days for about 20-25 repetitions of the same question in a short period of time. After that I still sometimes want to throw myself against the wall. But it’s the meaning I put on it that’s the problem – all she’s doing is asking a question repetitively.
In my writing I’ll share some of the Blessings of Dementia that I’ve seen for myself. I don’t pretend to have answers, but this perspective allows me to spend quality time with my Mom. My intention is to offer a new way of looking that might be useful to my readers. Seeing these Blessings has meant everything to me and my relationship with my sweet Mom.
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Karen Taylor-Good is a motivational speaker, author, singer and Grammy-nominated songwriter. She was the guest artist at my church in 2010 and she is truly amazing. She has written many songs that have been adopted as “flagship songs” for charitable organizations, including Childhelp USA, The Compassionate Friends and the National Hospice Foundation. Blending musical accomplishment with tender comfort, her music and her words have brought joy and solace to listeners around the world. Her songs have been recorded by Melissa Manchester, Al Jarreau, Collin Raye, Patty Loveless, Nana Mouskouri and numerous other artists worldwide.
As a vocal artist, Karen has been heard on national radio and television jingles for United Airlines, Taco Bell, Peter Pan Peanut Butter, McDonalds and others. She has recorded with such notable performers as Dolly Parton, Al Green, Willie Nelson, Kenny Rogers & George Jones. As a solo artist, she has had 9 nationally-charted singles.
She currently lives in Tennessee. Listen to this sweet clip of her song “On Angel’s Wings” that she wrote when her own mother was suffering with Alzheimers. She has given permission for my website visitors to listen to this clip. Visit her website for much more information including her amazing program for caregivers called “Nurture the Nurturers” www.karentaylorgood.com
On Angels Wings Clip (click here to listen to a clip of Karen’s song about dementia)
Welcome to Photo Galleries – Larry Friedman, D.V.M.
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- Gladiolus
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- RMB-Water
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- Salsify
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- Spring Green Tulip Bud
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- Asiatic Lilies
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- Shirley Poppy
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- Shirley Tulips
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- Liaison Iris
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- Gaillardia & Butterfly
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- Iris – Liaison
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- Hollyhock Peaches Dreams
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- California Poppy
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- Blue Flax
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- Purple Iris
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- Gladiolus
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- Day Lilly – Red Rum
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- Dahlia
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- Columbine – Soft Pink-Yellow
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- Begonias
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- Gladiolus Lavender
Wilderness Concepts Photo is the brainchild and second profession of former practicing Veterinarian, Dr. Larry Friedman, a widely recognized photographer, accomplished in landscape, floral, commercial and portrait photography. His landscape gallery includes Grand Teton National Park, Yellowstone National Park, Flaming Gorge National Recreation Area in Northeast Utah and Southwest Wyoming, Upstate New York, as well as the images of the history and beauty of Wyoming. He is now living in the Chicago area.
Larry’s floral images demonstrate the art of macro photography and the impressionistic views of flowers illustrate his creativity. He has graciously offered to let me post his floral images on the Wiseelder website. Dr Larry has been an “internet friend” of mine for many years, and we have never met. All of his images are offered for purchase as canvases or prints. Please enjoy his website and contact him for pricing information.
Website: www.wildernessconceptsphoto.com
Email: wildernessconcepts@comcast.net
Wilderness Concepts Photography
Larry Friedman D.V.M.
337 Satinwood Ct. South
Buffalo Grove, IL 60089
847-383-4402 1-800-340-1845
Cell 847-340-1841
Using this site
This website is updated often with new stories in several categories. You can view all stories in a particular category by selecting that category from the menu at the top of each page, or by selecting the category at the bottom (footer) of each page. All stories can also be viewed by selecting a month from the archives in the footer section.
All Inspirational Wise Elders stories can be found here: http://wiseelder.com/category/inspirational-wise-elders/
All Blessings of Dementia stories can be found here: http://wiseelder.com/category/blessings-of-dementia/
All Travels with Evie stories can be found here: http://wiseelder.com/category/travels-with-evie/
All Photo Galleries can be found here: http://wiseelder.com/category/photo-gallery/
Subscribe to Wise Elder to be notified when new stories are published.
Welcome to Wise Elder
I love the concept of Wise Elder; not because I think I am one, but because I aspire to be one. Perhaps no coincidence that ”Aspiring Wise Elder” has the acronym “AWE”, just as Wise Elder is “WE”. I know that WE are so much more than our bodies; that WE are great beings. It saddens me to hear people my age or younger talk about their upset with seeing themselves age. My intention here is to inspire and encourage us to relentlessly pursue wisdom, knowing that our bodies are perhaps just a metaphor for who we are. It is my commitment that we celebrate the quest to become wiser with age. A wise person said that our outsides are just wrapping paper and the true gifts are inside. If anyone knows the exact quote and who said it, I would love to give credit where credit is due.
One of the great blessings of my life is the abundance of dear friends, many of whom are “elders” who are so inspiring and who have taught me so much. I shall share them with you as a tribute to who they are, together with my view of what I find so inspirational. The older I get, the more I see that some of our learning is from books, some from each other, and some “the hard way”. It seems to me that the easiest and gentlest way of learning is from each other. Just think how many lifetimes it would take to learn everything if we had to do it all by ourselves.
When I was a toddler in Eugene, Oregon in the 1950s I loved to dance. I had an adorable pink satin bathing suit that I would wear as I would dance around the living room and up on the couch. Kind of like “Dancing with Life”.
Totally uninhibited and in the joy of the moment. Now that I am much older, I realize that this is a wise way to live life now.
The Wise Elders in my life share a love of life and a love of friends and family.They always make time for others in the present moment. There are so many Wise Elders in my world that for now I am using age 80 as a “beginning point” . As I reflect on what they have in common, I am grateful that they all are “open hearted” friends…..often sharing their hopes, dreams and sometimes their fears. I have felt very trusted. Many have talked with me about death and dying, and the afterlife; topics that are often difficult to discuss with family. I have grown to believe that those we have loved and lost become angels, surrounding us with love and light when they no longer have a physical body. “Getting one’s wings” is not necessarily a sad thing to me and I believe those wings are a sign that we’ve learned what we came here to learn.
I hope you enjoy reading about my Wise Elders and that you find them as inspirational and wise as I do.
Using this site
This website is updated often with new stories in several categories. You can view all stories in a particular category by selecting that category from the menu at the top of each page, or by selecting the category at the bottom (footer) of each page. All stories can also be viewed by selecting a month from the archives in the footer section.
All Inspirational Wise Elders stories can be found here: http://wiseelder.com/category/inspirational-wise-elders/
All Blessings of Dementia stories can be found here: http://wiseelder.com/category/blessings-of-dementia/
All Travels with Evie stories can be found here: http://wiseelder.com/category/travels-with-evie/
All Photo Galleries can be found here: http://wiseelder.com/category/photo-gallery/
Subscribe to Wise Elder to be notified when new stories are published.
Welcome to Travels with Evie
I guess I have a long history of “solo adventure travel” as evidenced by this picture taken when I was 4 or 5 years old. My grandmother “Evelyn” put me on the train in Chehalis, Washington all by myself and then drove like a mad woman the 3-5 miles to Centralia to meet me at the end of my journey. I see a bit of trepidation on my face. I remember that little white dress with red polka dots, undoubtedly hand sewn by my Mom who made almost all of our clothes in those days. She usually dressed us alike, so perhaps this was my first time having a dress all my own. Love that little skinned knee. Throughout the 31 years that I was married, I often travelled alone for business. After my husband died in 1999, I developed a fondness for “going far” for relatively short trips (often a long weekend). This was partly because I couldn’t be away from my business for long, but also because I seemed to have a gift for developing deep relationships quickly. I always know that I’ll sit by the most interesting person and that I will be safe and well. The flight attendants always think I work for the airline and the hotel employees always take great care of me. “Travel Angels” everywhere.
People are continually amazed that I would go to Singapore, Scotland or Beijing for a long weekend – but it works. For me it’s all about the journey and my adventure always begins the moment I leave my home. My well-tested theory is that if you go a long way and get back home within 5 days maximum, then your body doesn’t realize that it was away. I usually stay pretty much on Seattle time for eating and sleeping and experience little or no jet lag when I come back home.
I believe that this is my world and I belong.